So Much To Say

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Dear Social Media Butterflies,

Once upon a time, long, long ago, telephones were used to communicate with others. If you were lucky, you had the luxury of using a cordless phone to make your calls. And if you were really on the ball, you could roam around town chatting on a 10 pound device similar in size to a cinderblock- known as a cellular phone. No land line necessary. Ahh, those where the good old, pre-historic, app-free days of civilization. Life was much simpler then. Phones were used to make…. (drum roll)… phone calls. You couldn’t check e-mail, take a picture, play Farmville, update Facebook or Twitter, or even send a text message. My, have times changed!

Apparently, someone thought it would be a great idea for us to be plugged into everybody and their mama at the drop of a dime… ’cause having to wait more than 5 seconds to send or retrieve a message was just absurd. Clearly, our society has so much to say that we need to be able to say it 24/7. How on earth did we survive before the advent of all this social media and wireless communication? Do we really have that much to say?

Oh, but of course we do! What we update, post, text, and send is an extension of who we are… or is it? Perhaps it’s more of an extension of who we’ve become: an egocentric society in need of LIKES, followers, and notifications in order to feed the bottomless pit of our tech-addicted social self-esteem. Yes, we’ve got a lot to say. And here’s what many of us are really saying:

1. To our Employers- “My status updates are far more important than whatever it is you’re paying me for.” Are you getting paid to work or to play? I double-dog dare you to add up all the hours of your work week that you spend using social media (not including your lunch breaks).  How cool would it be if you left the office on time every now and then- so you could spend more QT with the family you’re “working” so hard to support? Might you be more productive at work if you spent more time… working? Just a thought. 😉

2. To our Dates and Friends- “My Cyber Pals are far more interesting than you right now.”   Social media has infected modern society with anti-social virus. There is no cure in sight for this pandemic outbreak. It amazes me how often I see groups of people tweeting and typing while dining- and completely ignoring their party! They’ll post play-by-play updates of everything they’re doing in an attempt to elicit a comment, “LIKE”, retweet, or mention from a group of people who could more than likely care less. SMH. Why bother to go on a date or hang out with others if you’re just going to talk on the phone or send messages to your “imaginary friends” (as my husband likes to call them. Lol. SIDE NOTE: Do you really have 4,782 friends? Like, is that even possible?)? While you’re busy LOL’ing, your date is busy wondering why the tech they went out with you in the first place. If the call or message is that important, kindly excuse yourself from the table (you’re not fooling anybody by texting under the table. We see you! :-P) and make it quick. Be 100% present while in the presence of others. Anything less than that is just plain rude. Just saying! 🙂

3. To our Passengers and Fellow Drivers- “My social feeds are invariably more valuable  than your life.”  I know, I know… you can text and drive with no problem. Although your eyes may be off the road for 4 or 5 seconds at a time, you can still drive like a pro with minimal swerving, right? Well, tell that to the families of the 6,000 people who die each year as a result of some “pro” who “wasn’t easily distracted.” Studies show that you are 8 times more likely to have a car crash if texting while driving (compared to being 4 times more likely to have a crash if your driving while drunk) than if you’re fully engaged in your commute. (Click here for more Shocking Stats on Texting While Driving.) Keep your eyes on the road and off your phone. OMG… It will literally make the world a better place. Just a suggestion. 🙂

I know all your apps and gadgets can be a welcome escape from reality, and I’m sure you genuinely enjoy engaging with folks all over the world. I’ll be the first to admit that I love to go IN on a good Trending Topic every now and then. But not at the expense of my job, my personal relationships, my life or anyone else’s. The beauty of all this social media is that we can always tune in to see what’s going on. No need to drop everything we’re doing for fear that we may “miss something.” So, my dear Social Butterflies, spread your wings and fly to a greater height of personal, professional, and social  awareness. Showing respect for yourself and others says a whole lot more than any Facebook update or 140 character Tweet.

Oh, but what do I know?! I’m just a lil blogger with lots to say. 😀

Practically Yours,

~The Practical Chick

Check Your Lining

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Dear Supermodel Saints,

Yesterday, in the middle of Winter, the forecast was sunny and 60+ degrees. So, in celebration of the unseasonably warm weather, I decided to wear a skirt suit (I don’t typically wear skirts to work in the Winter)… a lovely lil gray micro-houndstooth suit (complete with kick-pleat pencil skirt) that I hadn’t worn since I got it out the cleaners in the fall. Although crammed between a rack of other suits, it appeared to be free of wrinkles and ready to wear. Yay! It didn’t even need to be ironed! I slipped it on, zipped up the skirt, buttoned the jacked, stepped into my heels, and sashayed over to the mirror for a last-minute check before heading to the office. Just one teeny tiny problem: my sharp lil suit looked a little… sloppy. How could this be? It looked fine on the hanger… why didn’t it look so neat while draped against my body? Well, the answer was simple: the lining was wrinkled.

As I stood there ironing the lining of this suit I was determined to don (’cause I was NOT about to go through the whole process of deciding what to wear alllll over again!), I thought about how this suit represented so many of the lovely people gracing the face of the earth: smooth on the outside, crumpled on the inside. On the surface, we appear to have it all together- smiling, in control, hardworking, successful, strong, and “perfect”- Supermodel Saints, if you will. But underneath, many of us are quite wrinkled. A power struggle ensues between who we are (the real us) and who we pretend to be (the ideal us).

The real us makes mistakes, doesn’t have all the answers, gets angry and upset, sins on a daily basis, and is therefore completely imperfect. Yet, we pretend that we “got it goin’ on.” And for what? To impress a bunch of other imperfect people who are just as creased on the inside as we are? No wonder so many Christians are struggling spiritually!

Many don’t know how to be both human and Christian, and keep it real all at the same time. Imagine how much more at peace we would all be with ourselves if we knew we weren’t the only ones going through something. But instead, we parade under the facade of “being strong”, not realizing that true strength lies in admitting your weaknesses. Across the Country, we Christians strut into the Cleaners (Church) every week in our Sunday Best (and we’re just as stained, wrinkled and crinkled as can be on the inside) only to strut right back out as if we didn’t need to be washed and pressed in the first place! We’re afraid to be labeled as ‘weak’, or ‘bad’. So we clap our hands on cue, make the right gestures, nod and say ‘Amen’, then leave in the same stubborn condition (if we bother to attend church at all). Pretending to be something you’re not does a disservice to everyone, especially yourself. The fear of being “found out” will eat away at your lining (the real you) and keep you from living a victorious life.

What’s wrinkling your soul? What are you covering up?

In Changes That Heal, Dr. Henry Cloud examines this power struggle. “The ideal judges the real as unacceptable and brings condemnation and wrath on the real.” BUT! “The Bible teaches two extremes throughout- 1) We are made in the image of God, with incredible value (ideal), and  2) we are sinful and broken (real). Both are true and both need to be reconciled into a grace-giving relationship with God and others.” Amen.

My lovely lil suit is not a bad suit just because the lining was wrinkled. It’s just a lovely suit with a wrinkled lining. The lining isn’t bad, it just needed to be ironed in order for the suit to be as fabulous as it was designed to be. And you know what? You’re not a bad person if you’re struggling with something or you’re not as “perfect” as you pretend to be (NEWSFLASH: none of us are perfect!). Don’t allow your past or your present  problems to shame you into living a fearful future. You’re not unworthy of love and acceptance just because you have problems, make mistakes, your marriage isn’t perfect, your kids are off the chain, you had an addiction, you can’t afford to live like a rock star, etc. You’re a good person with a few wrinkles in your lining, that’s all. Happens to the best of us. 🙂

“There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly behooves any of us
To talk about the rest of us.”

~Edward Wallis Hoch

The crazy thing about lining is that even the sharpest suit/pants/skirt won’t lay right if the lining is left unchecked. Even if the wrinkles aren’t apparent to your onlookers, you just won’t be comfortable with what you have on. The lining may pull in the wrong direction or it may start creeping up into the wrong place, at the wrong time. And it’s bound to show eventually. What started off as a minor nuisance that you could conceal may soon keep you from walking right while you try to cover it up.

Quit pretending you got it all together and keep it real with YOU. Take your sharp self to the Master Cleaner, check yourself at the counter (the altar), tell Him what you’re ashamed of, struggling and dissatisfied with, and let Him iron out your wrinkles. So what if others see you crying out to God for help?! Shoot, maybe it will encourage them to get help too! While there are some things you can iron out on your own, at some point your situation will require Professional Care. Only the Professional can straighten out what you are ill-equipped to handle on your own. God is there for you every time you need to be refreshed, renewed, restored, and reshaped. You are imperfect AND worthwhile- a Designer’s original. Allow the Lord to clean, press and steam you into the fabulous person you were created to be- from the inside out. There’s a blessing in His pressing! 😉

Practically Yours,

~The Practical Chick